September 8, 2009

• I randomly thought today of the child that I never had. Where is he? This hole that is a part of me? And there are two other children out there that I once thought of as mine... and the relationship died with betrayal and time. If they were mine biologically Id be able to take them in my arms today... jealous much. And if I got pregnant today, in my heart it would be ours, all three, and I hope after this world shaking moment where only love held the ground together, I wonder if she would call it hers? Somehow I have faith that my children will come to me. Sometimes I dream of them already born, showing up on my doorstep, "Maddy its me! I'm home" Foolish perhaps. But the universe will sort it all out. This is what I was made for. Daisies are a sign of loyal love. You must believe to be loyal, Ive learned recently, and I believe it better than reportingly!

  Sally and Drake I love you both equally and forever.

  PS Ive written a lot lately, don't worry Ive decided to make myself write every day, even in the best of times I know I am overly emotional and getting it out here puts less burden on my loves. I will do anything for them and this is good for me! Love ya'll, <3~J.

  • 5:42 pm
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