August 24, 2006
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I want to scream.
Im not sure what Id scream, but I have the distinct desire to scream.
Maybe I should scream "we're here, were queer, get used to it" like me and Clary did driving down the blue route at like 100 mph w all the windows down... that was funny... but Im at work so perhaps Ill scratch that for now.
Plus this really isnt about lil amusing anecdotes from my life. Actually I profess that it is a waste of time to talk about ones life on these things anyway and ussually refrain from doing so thats definately not what this is about. Maybe its a stream of consciousness... I dont know yet.
I just noticed that I wrote "scream" intead of "stream" above. No dont look; Ive changed it now. I guess my mind is still on screaming... hmmm.
This is all very stange, as this general form of apathy seems to have settled down on me. Particularly cuz I got a fortune yesterday that told me to relax and have fun. U only get one life right.... But I cant break the sense of impending doom that I seem to have felt forever and has multiplied since the receiving of my very first F... EVER, but AH! this isnt about me, this is about somethign important, well more important cuz of course Im the Queen Bitch of the World and that makes me important (LOL I havent said that since high school) but anyway what Im saying is that is is about something really important, this is about life, the universe, and everything.
Drum roll!
*obliging drum roll*
42.
Damn someone beat me to it. Shouldntve waited for the drum roll. Oh well. Theres always chi. Hey professor I came up w a way to divide by 0 AND get rid of limits w/o breaking calculus. Too bad u cant understand it.
See the real answer to life the universe and everything is chi.
Which is 42.
Sometimes.
Its also everything else... or nothing... sometimes... and infinity*0.
Useful isnt it?
*Sigh* and u silly mathematicians just left it as undefined! U were so close, yd u hafta cop out so Id think it up and be miserable cuz I cant explain it to my damn sr. project professor meaning I get a C for discovering chi!
Well here it is, finally my poor mans patton, no one else can experiment w infinity*0. So if by chance u actually understand what Im saying, DONT STEAL MY IDEAS.
please
Why is it the people Ive met at college are stupider than the people I met in high school? Wasnt it sposed to be the other way around? I dont think Ive had one professor I respect. Oh they know their subjects, like the back of their hands... they love to regurgitate useless information so u can regurgitate it back. I used to have the memory for that... or maybe my spirit is just broken my disappointment. But learning is not rotely memorizing information that will have no use come graduation day, its learning how to THINK.
Dont u think, dont u think, dont u think that maybe its time, time u started thinking! Thanks Natilie Imbruglia.
And while Im on songs La Vie Boheme! Maybe thats why I feel like Im wasting my time. What am I doing to help "save the world"? I went to the "save the world site" on xanga. What a contribution. I should take a year off and do peace corp. Maybe Id feel better. Isnt that selfish, Im going to do charity to make myself feel better about wasting my time at college to get a slip of paper that will say im qualified to do other stupid stuff for other slips of paper, these which happen to be green. Hopefully Ill teach somewhere I can make a difference, so I wont be wasting my time for green paper I'll actually be doing something.
I wish I lived durring the Bohemian Revolution... or at least the 60s. Then Id know where to go.
Ok Im done, still wanna scream, but out of things to say. I want to scream w/o words. Assimilate my thoughts into ur brain so I dont keep screaming inside unheard. Maybe ul know y and be able to tell me what Im screaming about. Until then, love ya'll, always.
~J
Comments (7)
Hi...I'm Steve...I was reading you're about me...and I actually didn't see any paradoxes at all...all of those things fit together naturally I think...but then again...I have an odd opinion of the world...
that is soo true...without math...music would be confusing...the two are like yin and yang....inseparable but identifiable! Yah....the greeks understood alot that we now this is "unscientific" and "old-fashioned" but most of it can be applied to modern day. I love how the Greeks understood the concept of healing music...and just now in this day and age...we are starting to reunderstand that concept. Well....nice to meet ya and bye bye! LOL
You know i have thought about what id be doing if i lived in the 60's. Id prolly be either burnining bra's or doing something for gay rights. I wanted to say something else but i just woke up. *yawns* I really enjoy reading your streams of consicousness(sp?.....i cant tell if i spelled it right too sleepy)
<3~Helena~<3
Huh, I got it. Stay chill sweetie, you're the coolest Bitch of the World I know, but I bet I'm bitchier. I'd so win on that one.
You could call me and scream about shit if you ever want, I can take quite a bit. I'm all hardcore like that.
And this math has got my head pounding trying to figure what you're talkin about. : (
hey. I suscribed to you on xanga. You don't know me, but I think your pretty, and would like to be your friend.
<3 jane
sry, iknow its random but i saw u visited my site, : ) its ok even the people who spend there whole lives helping others do it at least in part to make themselves feel better, its just how we r as humans. and omg that was so smart using chi wow...i think i kinda get it ha so clever...
<33
People in college stupider then high school? Your destroying my hopes here!
As for screaming without words, I know what you mean. The problem with writing is that the words can sometimes get in the way. Why not try abstract art for expressing your scream?
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