September 6, 2009

• I lay breathing on your neck
  Feelin your pulse on my lips
  Before I touched you I wouldve died to be here in your arms
  But so close a strange pain grips
  I never told you all the good youve done me
  So selfish, I always crave more, more, more
  Focused on what I didn't have
  How my heart was slightly sore
  Now youve gone and broke my wings
  That I had long forgot could now fly
  And still for you I climb further now
  Than I ever did into the sky
  Sitting waiting for the faith
  That I struggle to know you'll return
  I see the things I didn't say
  I vow on my soul that I will learn
  Old pains, now new wrack my heart
  Living for your embrace
  And yet I walked a mile today
  For no one save my lonely grace
  All the love and tenderness
  All the times you clean and cook
  Of all the millions gifts youve given me
  This is far the best in my book
  This one night my crippled legs
  Walked this garden path alone
  I always had the power in me
  I can't believe Id never known
  Ill walk forever, I swear my love
  And yet I say I need you still
  Get better soon, my love, my life
  I know that in time you will
  For I wish to do it right this time
  And thank you for every hug and kiss
  I wish to give back to you
  Give you all the joy and bliss
  We neither can heal in just one night
  But weve made a redeeming start
  You'll work to find youre way back to me
  And I'll work to quell my howlin heart
  Then I'll lay and feel youre pulse
  And not feel so far away
  We will live separate, entwined
  And be whole only both ways
  I know not how to give these things
  You need only say the word
  Until then here is my best
  I wont stop until youve heard

  I love you. I'm healing. I'm alright. I need you. I'm ok without you. I can be strong for you. I want your love, but not for you to be a slave to my emotions. I live for myself. I heal for myself. But I will always worry and want whats best for you. Perhaps this sounds like a contradiction. I live for you I live for me. But I see no difference. Selfishly youre what I want, selflessly I love you dearly and thus I want whats best for you. Selfishly your what I want, selflessly I love you dearly, and so I know youre whats best for me. There is a way for us. I dont believe in the no win situation.

  • 2:32 am
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